Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize