not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize