In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
