Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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