GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize