he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All I want is dick and wine.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
