I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
