It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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