She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
