Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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