Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
