I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
