Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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