Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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