I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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