insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
