We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
