fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
