I can't watch pbs sober anymore
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
