I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
