I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
