FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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