I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
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I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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