My cat gives me a boner
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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