Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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