I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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