This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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