i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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