You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
