Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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