then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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