They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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