So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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