I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We smell like vodka and hangover
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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