I'm jealous of your bromance
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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