So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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