You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
