Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
bring money and cleavage
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
