im gay
i know
yea but for you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
