dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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