You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
