They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I believe in your delicious
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
