She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
