I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
soo... how was my night?
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