I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
