Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
