Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I look excited, but its just a facade.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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