Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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