he puts the penis in happiness.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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