you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Say something about gay babies.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
