Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
