i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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