shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
