she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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