Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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