Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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