Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
