i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
