I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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